#BUT WHY 5 HOURS ON A SUNDAY WHEN I HAVE SO MUCH OTHER COURSEWORK AAAH it fits my schedule sooobad
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enough posting for today. i have a seminar tomorrow i don't wanna go to. goodnight
#what do you mean 2 more sittings THE WEEK AFTER#I'm just so anxious in there bc we're so few people it's hard to hide from the teacher#she's cool and sweet but has this air of intimidation that makes me scared she always goes 'right?' and meaningfully looks at someone#and when it's me i just frantically nod and cower under her gaze#i feel so stupid and cowardly compared to everyone else#the seminar is about activism btw#doesn't help I'm the token transgender aaaand it's very heavily focused on participation which means room for mistakes#I hate room for mistakes. sm#i don't wanna disappoint anyone with my dumbassery#and it's such a complicated topic it's about like colonialism and racism and i just feel so dumb and ignorant#I guess that's the thing tho challenging that going to those classes having those discussions#I'm just a scared prey animal. but I will continue working hard#BUT WHY 5 HOURS ON A SUNDAY WHEN I HAVE SO MUCH OTHER COURSEWORK AAAH it fits my schedule sooobad
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